The former Public Relations Officer for the Youth Employment Agency condemned the stigmatisation of widows, some of whom lost their husbands through no fault of theirs.
In a post made on his Facebook page on Sunday, September 18, 2022, he recounted how a friend of his was dating a widow and planning to settle down with her, but his family had kicked against the move.
According to him, the said widow is self-made and could help turn around the life of his friend, but his family’s stereotypical mindset has become a barrier to the couple’s happiness.
“A bachelor friend of mine, got a divorcee. They love each other. The lady has a child and she’s gainfully employed.
Last week, he sent her to see his parents, then his mother rejected her with the flimsy excuse that he’s too young to marry Bazawara. Interestingly, he’s 6yrs older than her.
Now, I advised him to talk to his uncle who is a malam to convince his mum. Apparently, the uncle wasn’t in support of the marriage so he quoted a hadith (sayings by Prophet Muhammad) that the Prophet once told a youngman who was married to widow that as youngman, if he had married a virgin it’ll have been better for him.
“Truth be told, looking at the economic conditions of my friend, the lady can help.
“Some are Bazawaras not by their faults by circumstances.
May Allah help all the Bazawaras who are genuinely desirous to get married,” Awal Mohammed wrote.
He explained that the act of stigmatizing widows is common in the Muslim community, where women who have lost their husbands are perceived to be unworthy of marriage, especially to young men.
“In zango, the term ‘Bazawara’ is used for a widow or divorcee.
Usually, they find it difficult to get husbands. 2 out of 10 bachelors will settle for them, not because they don’t see them as attractive but because of stigmatisation. They leave them to some of us who are married to add them as second or third wives,” he added.
Awal Mohammed who himself is a Muslim and a Zongo resident attributed the stigma that widows go through to wrong interpretation and misunderstanding of a hadith (sayings by Prophet Muhammad).
“Even though I’m not a malam, honestly, this is almost the third time, that I have heard people wrongfully interpret this particular hadith. They only talk about the part where Prophet Muhammad mention to the youngman and don’t report or talk about the response of the youngman which the prophet blessed him,” he lamented.
He urged Imams to help disabuse the minds of families who kick against their sons’ marriage to widows based on stigma.